- Why does every friendship need the letter "R"?
- If you worked in a mortuary, what would you call your free time?
- What holiday do vampires celebrate to show their gratitude for all the good food they've had this year?
- What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
- What does Frankenstein do on Mother's Day?
- What kind of boats do vampires like best?
- What would you have if you crossed a Frankenstein with a Werewolf?
- What should a person do if they're afraid of dying in bed?
- What's the best way to get into a locked cemetery at midnight?
- What has a head like a black cat, feet like a black cat, a tail like a black cat, but isn't a black cat?
- What would you get if you crossed a mummy with a vampire?
- Why is the letter "E" like death?
- What would Dracula hate to have for breakfast?
- Why does Frankenstein love good riddles?
- What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
- Because without it, our friends would be "fiends."
- Coffin breaks
- He sends a dozen roses to the Electric Company.
- Blood vessels
- An electric fur coat or a pinball machine that bites
- Run to the LIVING room
- Use a skeleton key
- A black kitten
- Either a flying Band Aid or a gift-wrapped bat
- Because it's always at the end of life
- Stakes at sunrise; they're sure to give him heartburn.
- Because they keep him in stitches
- One has its claws at the end of its paws and the other its pause at the end of its clause
Excerpted from The Complete Teacher's Almanack: A Daily Guide to All 12 Months of the Year by Dana Newman.